Surviving Your Teen’s Growing Pains What Every Parent Needs to Understand About Adolescence

Josh Soto - Sunday, March 19, 2017

 


Morning Hacks for Non-Morning People

Gabrielle Applebury - Wednesday, March 01, 2017

 

I am not a morning person, but I am typically woken up around 6:30 by my sweet pups. Here are a few tricks I use to make it through what I consider to be a bit of a struggle.

 

  1. 1) Get organized the night before

There is nothing like having to rush in the morning, waking up behind schedule and having to get your sh*t together with your adrenaline pumping. If you need to pack food, get your kids’, or pets’ stuff together beforehand, do it. For me, I get my lunch prepped, get my morning tea ready and pre-make some frozen peanut butter bones for my pups. So, when I wake up groggy, and slightly grouchy, I don’t have to think about what needs to be done, because it already is. Getting into a routine has been incredibly helpful in making mornings easier to deal with.

 

  1. 2) Let people know that it takes some time for you to warm up

Letting people know what I need in the morning has proven to be very helpful. I have a difficult time interacting with super perky people right when I wake up. It usually takes me an hour or two before I have enough wherewithal to speak with uber energized morning people and that’s totally okay if you experience that too. In fact one study explores the highly different times that early risers and night owls’ physical energy and brain power peaks. It notes early risers peak at 9am, and night owls peak at 9pm. For both, energy tapers down or builds up increasingly throughout the day, according to the time of the energy peak. So, there really is a significant difference in the brains of early risers and night owls.

 

  1. 3) Nourish yourself before you venture out

Always make sure to check in with your body when you feel hungry, and feed yourself something that can get you through the morning without your blood sugar totally crashing. Feeling sleepy is one thing, but to walk around feeling hungry on top of that, is a recipe for mood swings and inattentiveness.

 

  1. 4) Take time to check in with yourself

Mornings are rough for some people, so give yourself time to wake up, become alert, and go on with your day. Be sure to check in with your mood throughout the morning, as tracking it can help you ask for what you need from others and from yourself. Notice if your mood shifts after an hour, after several hours and after you eat.

 

  1. 5) Experiment with different morning routines

Note if it works better for you to wake up a bit earlier so you can give yourself some extra time to perk up while you’re still at home, or if it makes you feel better to get in a little extra sleep. Figuring out what works best for your body and mind can make all the difference when it comes to dealing with early mornings.

 

Gabrielle Applebury is a Marriage and Family Therapist intern located in Irvine and Anaheim Hills. She specializes in treating adults who have experienced trauma, with a special interest in parentified adults, and new parents. She offers in office therapy, EMDR, EMDR on horseback and equine assisted psychotherapy. To contact Gabrielle Applebury for an appointment, please call (855) 462-5492.


 


5 tools for parents to stay connected with their teens

Josh Soto - Sunday, February 19, 2017
  1.  
  2. Adolescence is a time when teens are figuring themselves out, and they often need their parents support and understanding more than ever.
  3.  

Why You Shouldn't Care About Being the Perfect Parent

Gabrielle Applebury - Sunday, February 19, 2017

  


Five Reasons Why You Should Try Therapy

Gabrielle Applebury - Saturday, February 04, 2017

  


Using the 4 Elements to Re-Center When PTSD Takes Hold

Renee Miller - Thursday, January 19, 2017

When we experience a traumatic event, aspects of the event can trigger us out of the blue, leaving us feeling like we are in the middle of the traumatic moment once again. The autonomic branch of the central nervous system is responsible for our automatic processes like breathing, heart rate, lens dilation and contraction, digestive processes, and "acting without thinking."
 


Overcoming Your Fear of Public Speaking

Gabrielle Applebury - Friday, January 06, 2017

 

A friend and I were recently chatting about her fear of public speaking. She was telling me that her company was planning on paying for a speech therapist to help her, since it impacts her job life. She began telling me about the curriculum, how the therapist helps you identify triggers, and what the practice looks like. It got me thinking about where the fear of public speaking comes from and how we can work through the core of the issue, instead of treating it at a surface level.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I think figuring out the core of the fear is certainly important, but it does not necessarily correlate with it being resolved long term. To me, long term results are the goal, not a surface level set of skills. Using EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), we can identify your triggers, and work through the core of why it is that this fear exists within you. A lot of people report that the fear of public speaking comes from them not wanting to be judged by others. But, what does not wanting to be judged by others really mean? In our day to to day life, we are constantly being judged, evaluated and observed, and we do it to others too. With EMDR, we ask what does being judged by others mean about you? We may also look at the first experience you can recall where you felt judged by others and what negative beliefs about yourself became associated with this. Often times the negative beliefs are associated with not feeling perfect or not wanting to look bad, or make a mistake. With EMDR, we take it even further and ask if you are not perfect, or if you do make a mistake, what does that mean about you? This is where we typically figure out a core belief that you have been carrying around for a while, and for many since childhood.

 

Using EMDR, we are looking to more wholly reduce and resolve symptoms, by reprocessing the negative belief or beliefs associated with public speaking. Once that is reduced or resolved, typically people experience a shift, not only with public speaking, but within their life.

 

Gabrielle Applebury is a Marriage and Family Therapist intern located in Irvine and Anaheim Hills. She specializes in treating adults who have experienced trauma, with a special interest in parentified adults, and veterans. She offers in office therapy, EMDR, EMDR on horseback and equine assisted psychotherapy. To contact Gabrielle Applebury for an appointment, please call (855) 462-5492.

 


Things to Remedy a Bad Day

Gabrielle Applebury - Wednesday, January 04, 2017

We’ve all been there, a day where it seems as if everything that could go wrong does. Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep, maybe you had an argument with someone, maybe you woke up feeling sick, or maybe you had a bad day at work. Regardless of how it happened, it is important to first identify why we are feeling this way. Did we feel triggered by someone or a situation? If we had a disagreement with someone, what sparked it? Did we react appropriately? Once you’ve identified why and how you are feeling, here are a few ideas that may help you get out of that funk so you can move forward with clarity.

 

  1. 1) Reach out to supportive friends who genuinely care about you. Sharing your experience with them, or just connecting with them may brighten up your day and give you a fresh perspective.

 

  1. 2) If you have a pet, spend time with them. Looking at and/or interacting with animals tends to boost our mood. If you don’t have a pet, viewing funny pet videos may do the trick.

 

  1. 3) Nourish yourself with a healthy snack or meal. Sometimes we neglect to eat when we’re in a bad mood, which tends to worsen our mood. Make sure you take care of your body, and pay extra attention to how you treat your body when you’re feeling down.

 

  1. 4) Go out for a walk and notice the scenery around you. Try to stay in the moment and observe your surroundings. Use all of your senses to ground yourself.

 

  1. 5) Listen to music that makes you feel good. You may want to think about creating a playlist that works for you, so in the future you are good to go.

 

  1. 6) Reach for a good book. Books help us get out of our head and enter into a different world, sometimes offering us a different perspective.

 

  1. 7) Watch your favorite movie or show.

 

  1. 8) Make yourself some tea. Tea can be incredibly comforting after a long, difficult day. Many teas are made specifically for calming/relaxation.

 

  1. 9) Listen to a funny podcast. There are tons of comedians that have their specials on podcasts. There are comedy playlists that allow you to listen to multiple snippets of comedian’s shows as well.

 

  1. 10) Get a good sleep. Sleep is incredibly important to our well being. Without a good sleep, we are prone to dips in our mood, shifts in appetite and for many a general decrease in mental functioning/sharpness.

 

Remember, bad days happen to everyone. Take note of how often they come up. If your mood dips begin to interfere with your home life, work life, social life and overall well being, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist.

 

Gabrielle Applebury is a Marriage and Family Therapist intern located in Irvine and Anaheim Hills. She specializes in treating adults who have experienced trauma, with a special interest in parentified adults, and veterans. She offers in office therapy, EMDR, EMDR on horseback and equine assisted psychotherapy. To contact Gabrielle Applebury for an appointment, please call (855) 462-5492.


 

 


The Importance of Resolving Early Childhood Attachment Rifts and Trauma

Gabrielle Applebury - Thursday, December 22, 2016

Time and time again a client will come in and say I just want to focus on the here and now. For many, drudging up the past can be painful and something that we want to avoid. The problem with this is that the past lives in our present. It follows us to work, it’s in our home, it’s in our friend group, it’s in our partner, and it’s within us.  


How to Communicate Clearly

Gabrielle Applebury - Friday, December 09, 2016

 

Whether you’re at a meeting, with friends or with your partner, feeling heard is a vital part of communicating. We can learn a lot when we take a look at our own style of communication. Are we more dominant in conversations? More passive? Do others tend to speak over us? Do you find yourself having to repeat what you said? Regardless of your style, the following steps will help you in getting your message across to the other party.

  1.  
  2. Listen to others

When we listen respectfully to others, we take time to understand what they are saying. We ask thoughtful questions to clarify the information and we show signs that we are actively listening. Active listening means giving social cues to show that we are hearing what the speaker is saying. Some of these include nodding our heads, making eye contact, and mirroring their body language(we tend to do this one naturally when we are engaged in a conversation) and repeating back what the speaker is saying as a way to clarify.

  1.  
  2. Identify your message

If you are not sure what you are trying to say, take a moment and think about it. If you are on the spot, you may want to say.. Let me think about this for a few moments and get back to you.

  1.  
  2. Communicate your message clearly

Once you know what you want to say, share it in a way that anyone could understand. This means making it simple and concise and allowing room for questions and comments.

  1.  
  2. Assess if your message was understood by the listeners

Take a look at the listener as you speak. Do they look confused? Does it seem like they are actively listening to you, or are they tuning out? Feel free to ask if they understand what you are saying and whether or not they would like you to clarify.

  1.  
  2. Clarify if necessary

Clarifying what you share is a good way to work on communicating clearly. Take note of what resonates with the listener. It may be helpful to give real-life examples if applicable, or metaphors if possible. Sometimes this helps ground the listener, especially if the topic is more abstract.

 

Paying attention to how you communicate and what others seem to be hearing is a great way to learn what communication style certain people are more receptive to. You may have a friend who can easily follow what you’re saying, but a boss or coworker that tends to understand you more clearly when you use examples. Communicating effectively takes practice to learn, so be kind and patient with yourself and continue to take notes on what works for you.

 

Gabrielle Applebury is a Marriage and Family Therapist intern located in Irvine and Anaheim Hills. She specializes in treating adults who have experienced trauma, with a special interest in parentified adults, and veterans. She offers in office therapy, EMDR, EMDR on horseback and equine assisted psychotherapy. To contact Gabrielle Applebury for an appointment, please call (855) 462-5492.

 



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